If you’re considering a divorce or are in the midst of one, you’ve probably heard a lot of advice—some of it helpful, but much of it based on myths that simply aren’t true. As a lawyer practicing family law here in Pennsylvania, I’ve heard it all. Some myths are harmless, but others can lead to unnecessary stress or costly mistakes.
Let’s break down 10 common divorce myths and set the record straight. My goal is to empower you with accurate information so you can approach this challenging time with confidence.
Myth #1: “I’ll Lose Everything if I’m at Fault”
Many people worry that being “at fault” for the divorce will result in them losing their property, their rights to see their children, or even their financial stability. While fault can play a role in specific cases, Pennsylvania is primarily a no-fault divorce state. This means that marital property is divided based on equitable distribution, not on who caused the marriage to break down.
Personal Insight
I had a client who came into my office convinced that because they had been unfaithful, they were going to walk away with nothing. However, we worked through the equitable distribution process, and they received a fair share of the marital property, just as the law intended.
Myth #2: “The Court Always Favors Mothers in Custody Cases”
This myth can cause unnecessary anxiety for fathers who fear they’ll never get to see their children. The truth is, Pennsylvania courts prioritize the best interests of the child. This includes factors like the child’s relationship with each parent, the parents’ ability to provide a stable environment, and more.
Let’s Be Clear
Gender is not a deciding factor. Fathers who are actively involved in their children’s lives often receive significant custody time.
Myth #3: “You Can’t Get Divorced Without a Fight”
Divorce doesn’t always have to be a battle. Many couples resolve their issues amicably through mediation or collaborative divorce. These approaches can save time, money, and emotional energy.
Why It Matters
I’ve seen couples walk out of mediation sessions relieved and ready to move forward, having avoided the stress of a drawn-out court battle. If you and your spouse can communicate, you can craft an agreement that works for both of you.
Myth #4: “Only the Rich Need Prenups”
Prenuptial agreements often get a bad reputation, but they’re not just for celebrities or millionaires. A prenup can protect both parties by setting clear expectations about property and finances.
A Real-Life Example
A couple I worked with had modest assets, but their prenup saved them countless headaches during their divorce. It’s a practical tool, not a predictor of failure.
Myth #5: “I Can Keep All My Assets If They’re in My Name”
Many believe that property titled in their name alone is off-limits in a divorce. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works in Pennsylvania. Marital property—anything acquired during the marriage—can be divided, even if it’s only in one spouse’s name.
Breaking It Down
For example, if you bought a house during the marriage, it’s likely considered marital property, even if only your name is on the deed.
Myth #6: “We Have to Be Separated for Two Years Before Divorcing”
While Pennsylvania law does allow for a two-year separation divorce, it’s not the only option. If both spouses agree, you can file for a no-fault divorce much sooner. In contested cases, the two-year separation period may come into play.
Myth #7: “I Don’t Need a Lawyer—I’ll Just Use Online Forms”
The internet is full of DIY divorce kits, but they can lead to costly mistakes. Divorce involves legal complexities that an experienced lawyer can navigate, ensuring your rights are protected.
My Advice
One client tried the DIY route and ended up losing out on retirement benefits they were entitled to. Don’t let that be your story.
Myth #8: “Child Support Is Set in Stone”
Child support is calculated based on Pennsylvania’s guidelines, but that doesn’t mean it’s static. Changes in income, custody arrangements, or a child’s needs can all result in modifications.
Why It’s Important
If your financial situation changes, don’t assume you’re stuck with the current amount. File for a modification to avoid falling behind or overpaying.
Myth #9: “Everything Will Be Split 50/50”
Equitable distribution doesn’t mean an automatic 50/50 split. Pennsylvania courts consider various factors, such as each spouse’s income, contributions to the marriage, and future needs, to determine what’s fair.
Myth #10: “Once the Divorce Is Final, Everything Is Over”
The divorce decree might settle many issues, but life changes. Custody arrangements, support payments, and even the division of assets can sometimes require adjustments. It’s important to revisit your agreements if circumstances change significantly.
Final Thoughts
Divorce is never easy, but believing in myths can make it even harder. By understanding the facts, you can make informed decisions that set you up for success. If you have questions or need guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out to an experienced family law attorney who can guide you through the process.
If this article answered some of your questions—or sparked new ones—I’m here to help. Let’s discuss your unique situation and create a strategy tailored to your needs. Together, we can tackle the challenges ahead with clarity and confidence.
- Divorce
- Family Law
