If your ex is refusing to follow a court-ordered custody agreement, you can absolutely file for contempt in family court. Courts take custody orders seriously, and violations can result in penalties ranging from fines to changes in custody arrangements. But before you rush to file, let’s break down exactly how contempt petitions work, when they’re appropriate, and what kind of proof you need to win your case.
Understanding Custody Contempt: What It Is and Why It Matters
When a judge issues a custody order, both parents are legally obligated to follow it. But what happens when one parent decides to do things their own way? That’s where contempt of court in custody cases comes in.
Contempt is a legal tool used to enforce custody and visitation orders when one parent fails to comply. Courts use it to maintain fairness and protect children from being caught in the middle of parental disputes. If a judge finds a parent in contempt of a custody order, penalties can range from ordering make-up parenting time to fines and even jail time for severe violations.
A Personal Anecdote: When a Client’s Ex Played Games
A client once came to me frustrated because his ex-wife repeatedly refused to exchange their son at the designated pick-up location. Instead, she’d make last-minute changes or just not show up at all. The result? He’d lose precious time with his child, and she acted like she could get away with it. We filed for custody contempt, gathered evidence of the missed exchanges, and the court ordered her to comply—or face significant fines. After one court date, she never skipped an exchange again.
This happens all the time, and if you’re dealing with a similar situation, keep reading because we’ll go step by step on how to file for contempt and win.
Common Reasons to File a Custody Contempt Petition
You shouldn’t file for contempt just because you’re upset with your ex. The court will only act if there’s a clear and willful violation of the custody order. Here are some of the most common reasons to file:
1. Denying Court-Ordered Visitation
- Your ex refuses to allow your scheduled parenting time.
- They cancel visits last minute without a valid reason.
- They make excuses like “the child doesn’t want to go” without court approval.
2. Consistently Returning the Child Late
- If your ex is habitually late by hours, days, or even weeks.
- They refuse to return the child altogether.
3. Relocating Without Permission
- If your ex moves out of state without proper notice.
- If they change schools or addresses without notifying you.
4. Blocking Communication with the Child
- If they prevent phone calls, texts, or video chats.
- If they monitor or interfere with your conversations.
5. Making Major Decisions Without Consent
- If your ex enrolls the child in a new school without discussing it.
- If they take the child out of state for medical treatment without informing you.
How to File for Contempt of a Custody Order
If you’re facing any of the issues above, here’s what you need to do:
Step 1: Gather Evidence
Courts need proof! Keep detailed records, including:
- Texts and emails where the other parent refuses visitation.
- Screenshots of missed calls or blocked numbers.
- Witness statements from neutral third parties.
- Police reports, if necessary.
Step 2: File a Motion for Contempt
You (or your attorney) will need to file paperwork with the family court that issued the custody order. This will outline:
- What parts of the order were violated.
- How often the violations occurred.
- Proof that you’ve tried to resolve the issue.
Step 3: Serve the Other Parent
The other parent must receive legal notice of the hearing. This is typically done through certified mail or a process server.
Step 4: Attend the Contempt Hearing
At the hearing, you’ll need to present evidence to the judge. The other parent will have the opportunity to explain their side. If the judge finds them in contempt, penalties may be imposed.
What Happens If the Court Finds Your Ex in Contempt?
If a judge rules in your favor, they may order:
- Make-up parenting time to compensate for lost visits.
- Fines and court costs to penalize the violating parent.
- Custody modifications, if the violations are severe.
- Jail time, though this is rare and reserved for extreme cases.
Alternatives to Filing for Contempt
If you’re not ready to go to court, consider:
- Mediation: A neutral third party can help resolve disputes.
- Parenting coordinators: A court-appointed professional can oversee compliance.
- Custody modification: If violations continue, requesting a custody change may be more effective.
FAQs About Contempt of Custody Orders
Can I file contempt if my ex is late a few times?
Probably not. Courts won’t punish minor infractions. But if it’s happening consistently, you may have a case.
What if my child refuses to go with the other parent?
Unless your child is old enough to decide (usually 14+ in many states), the court expects parents to enforce custody orders.
What if my ex accuses me of contempt?
If you have a valid reason for missing an exchange (like a medical emergency), document everything and be prepared to explain.
Can I withhold child support if my ex is violating custody orders?
No. Child support and custody are separate legal issues. Withholding support can get you in legal trouble.
Final Thoughts: Should You File for Contempt?
Filing for contempt of a custody order can be a powerful tool to protect your rights as a parent, but it should be used wisely. If your ex is willfully violating the agreement and it’s impacting your relationship with your child, don’t hesitate to take legal action. However, if it’s a minor issue, a conversation or mediation might be the better first step.
Need legal advice on custody contempt issues? Contact a family law attorney today to discuss your options and protect your parental rights!
David Wenger is a family and criminal law attorney practicing in Mercer, Beaver, Butler, Lawrence, and Crawford counties in Pennsylvania. A former prosecutor and court-appointed Guardian ad Litem, he has extensive experience representing clients in complex custody and criminal defense cases. His passion is advocating for parents and children in the courtroom, ensuring their rights are protected.
